Opportunities and advantages of enjoying your own company and a forced family “staycation” - i.e. A Quarantine Emotional Survival Plan


Having a ‘loose’ plan is often what mental health professionals encourage when you might be challenged by anxiety and depression. Many reality TV shows have demonstrated how extended time spent in a limited space with the same people can lead to boredom, stress and conflict. So perhaps the best way to enter a self- or others-imposed quarantine or “isolation” is to come up with quarantine Plan for your Emotional Survival.
Research and bookmark information regarding the status of the virus from reliable sources (Health.gov.au). Knowledge helps reduce anxiety.
Things to remember (from Quarantine At Home - Coping Tips):
  • Your doctor can tell you exactly when your quarantine can safely end.
  • Quarantine helps to slow the spread of infection across a population.
  • Have a home quarantine plan in place.
  • Keep up a normal daily routine as much as possible and maintain a positive attitude.
  • Treat quarantine as an opportunity to do some of those things you never usually have time for.
Emotionally assess yourself and others in your home:First, assess what “self-isolation” or "stay-at-home" means for you:
  • Is staying at home “just what I needed” and you’re looking forward to some “time away” from others or do you feel anxious about being home for 2-3 weeks?
  • Could you, say, welcome the change of environment for a few days and then feel like you’re going “cabin crazy’.
  • You’ve coped before - experience counts!: “Think about how you’ve coped with difficult situations in the past and reassure yourself that you will cope with this situation too. Remember that quarantine won’t last for long.”
  • Identify who your “go-to” person is, let them know it, and plan for how to contact them when you are feeling stressed
  • Check-in with yourself and others to talk about their emotions. It is likely that what we and our families may go thru during this time is a form of grieving - grieving the loss of our normal routine, expected freedoms and space, the ability to be with ones we love, going to celebrations and funerals of people we love, among other things. Expect to feel part of the grief process: shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Each person in your home may be at a different stage and the first 4 stages can "spaghetti" around (lay on top of each other and flip around suddenly). This is typical for everyone and once this crisis is over, hopefully, the experiences we encounter will pass and become part of who we are. Perhaps a new "stage" could be added beyond "acceptance" - "integration". This might be considered a point where when thinking about your personal losses no longer distresses you but become are lovingly welcomed as part of you and your life's story.
Make a plan and enact it before a mandated "stay at home" edict is enforced:
  • Buy birthday, anniversary, and other occasional cards, postage, and gifts for upcoming events (2-3 months)
  • Get your scripts updated and filled for a month or two
  • Get to the GP, specialists and allied health practitioners for health conditions not flu-related (e.g. skin conditions, joint injuries, cuts, other painful conditions)
  • Organize online meal delivery
  • Get cars serviced, tyres fitted, and fuelled up
  • Obtaining the kids’ assignments for the remainder of the school term and perhaps the beginning of the next (email and/or post)
  • Make a list of all the “low- or no-tech” interests and tasks you might get the opportunity to complete while on a break and integrate them into your day/evenings, such as:
  • Reading you’d like to catch up on / Subscriptions for magazines are up-to-date
  • Finding the cards, dice, and board games you once loved or getting new ones (order online for delivery)
  • Studying God’s word (pick an entire book, epistle, or topic and do an inductive bible study)
  • Developing recreational outlets that encourage creativity; Challenge yourself (learn something new: art/craft, language, practical skill (cooking, baking, woodworking), intellectual, historical, etc..) - Get the supplies beforehand or order online.
  • Getting outside and connecting with nature again - gardening, laying on a patch of grass looking at the shapes made by the clouds, taking in the scent of fresh-cut grass and flowering plants
Stay connected and re-connect:
  • Use tech to connect. Build and engage in an encouraging social support system (inside the house and outside - extended family, friends, bible study, “meet-up” chats /hobby groups/virtual dinner parties)
  • Plan for moments to pamper each other (decide what that is for you - nail painting/manicures; hair washing/drying; head/hand/foot/body massage
  • Spend time with your favourite furry (and not-so furry) friends
  • Discuss with family/housemates, “How will this impact our “normal” routines? What could a new routine look like during this time and what could become the “new normal” routine when it is over?
  • Balance together and alone time - find your “safe place” in/around the home to retreat to but remember to consider other’s need to spend time with you as well. Respect each other's “safe place” and plan for “time outs”
  • Team-up. “Split the family into teams that occupy different areas of the house – for example, Dad with one child in the garage and Mum with the other child in the lounge room – then swap the following day.”
  • Create group themed dinners - go through your wardrobe for ideas; perhaps a “formal dinner” once a week - everyone wears a special outfit, shoes, jewellery, underwear, nail & hairstyle & colour, aftershave/cologne, perfume; the “good” dinner plates and silverware
  • Present an old-fashioned-style picture slideshow - with popcorn
Practice good house/home repair and management. Become a responsible house-mate:
  • Make your space pleasant for yourself and others to help you feel good about being in & around it
  • Train the kids in life skills (how to change the oil in the car, laundry and ironing, bookkeeping skills, etc...)
  • Learn about budgeting the expenses of running a home (start a spreadsheet)
  • Resume home & garden projects that have been delayed
  • Spring clean and organise a Council clean-up date and set items aside for donations
  • Organize your cabinets and toiletries
  • Label your spices
  • Plan and make meals together
Respect yourself and each other:
  • Acknowledge compliments & expressions of affection (a simple “Thank you” works)
  • Practice building and enforcing good boundaries / healthy limits:
  • Make commitments you will keep
  • Say “No” when you need to (enforce your healthy limits/your boundaries)
  • Hold others accountable if they have made a commitment
  • Celebrate the small things - allow yourself to feel good about your accomplishments (even if it is just bringing in the laundry). Avoid negative self-absorption (negative “self-talk”).
  • Focus on something or someone outside yourself (“pay it forward”; listen; lend a hand; pray for them; ask yourself, "who can I encourage today?")
Manage conflict:Accept that conflict and arguments may occur. Try to resolve issues quickly. Distraction may work with young children. For older children and adults, these high-level guidelines help:
  • Keep in mind - “I once loved this person and they loved me” (possibly as recently as a minute ago!) and “we have to live together in this place”.
  • Turn toward each other and give the person with “the issue” your full attention. If you are highly emotional agree to retreat to your identified “safe places’ and continue when both have calmed down. When ready let the person who had/has “the issue” speak while you and others listen without comment then:
  • Validate them / Appreciate their perspective (goal: reduce the emotional distress of the person with “the issue”);
  • Take responsibility (seek it) for what you do have control over; and
  • Work together to find a solution (for now if agreement cannot seem to be reached or in the future).
Practice good self-care:
  • Mainly: wash, dress, feed/hydrate yourself, move, get enough rest, visit GP or hospital as needed
  • Practice good personal hygiene daily (shower/bathe; shave; do hair; fresh clothes and underwear)
  • Eat healthy but delicious meals (including treats now and then)
  • Do not drink to excess or abuse drugs
  • Exercise moderately daily to raise your “happy hormones” - even if it is just one dance - when no one’s looking - to your favourite song. For more structure access:
  • Exercise DVDs/YouTube videos, dancing, floor exercises, yoga, pilates
  • Walk around the backyard or use home exercise equipment (treadmill, stationary bicycle)
  • Regularize your sleep cycle
  • Luxuriate in a long, hot bath; use your hot tub, pool, or find a (secluded) beach and walk in the sand
  • Cultivate your sense of humour (watch uplifting entertainment - “clean” comedy)
  • Take a drive in your mobile isolation unit (car - you can turn on recycled air if that helps reduce your health concerns)
  • Research calming and coping methods online or on YouTube and try them out
Regulate and reflect. Pay more attention to small pleasures and sensations:
  • Investigate the use of a visual journal as opposed to a written one
  • Name or list 3 things you are thankful/grateful for at the beginning, middle, or end of each day (keep a gratitude journal) Before feeling overwhelmed - practice “grounding” (aka “focussing on the present” or being “mindful”) - Stop what you are doing or “obsessing” (worried thinking) about and focus on what you can see, smell, taste, feel, or hear (5 senses); and now:
  • While breathing in and out and with at least one breath between them, can you name (for example):
  • 5 colours you see?
  • 4 sounds you hear outside yourself?
  • 3 sensations on or in your body? (the breeze on your body? heat, cool, twitching, relaxing muscle); Where do you feel it?
  • 2 distinct scents?
  • 1 thing you can taste? (the predominant spice in that bite of pizza or sip of tea you’ve put in your mouth)
Plan for the Future:This crisis will end and while you are home you will begin to remember the things, events, and activities that you miss. Sometimes the things, events, or activities that you are used to being engaged with will seem to take priority and may cause stress because you cannot do them now, but over time some of these will settle to a lesser priority.
  • When stressed, remember to engage your calming strategies
  • Create a list of things, events, and activities missed, prioritise them again and again as your thoughts about them change
  • Encourage each other and talk about what each of you have noticed in how they've grown throughout the time together - give examples - e.g. "[Name], when the news first hit about the pandemic I noticed how anxious you were. You almost couldn't stop moving around the house. Now you appear really relaxed and settled into a new routine."
I will be available during this time and am interested in helping you so I invite you to please stay connected. Call me on 0431 690 205 - Christina
Hold on and get through this.
Other resources for immediate connection with someone 24x7:
www.mensline.org.au (1300 789 978)www.lifeline.org.au (13 11 14)www.beyondblue.org.au (1300 224 636)Sexual Assault/ DV info www.1800respect.org.au (1800 Respect)Australian Red Cross 1800 733 276 These contacts also have online "chat" facilities. Please go to their websites to get more information.
Last Edited 27 Mar 2020Compiled by experienced Counsellors and Psychologists. / Modified from: Dr. Richard O'Connor (2014); Elle Taylor (16 March, 2018) See the Victoria State Government webpage: Quarantine At Home - Coping Tips website for quotes used below